ending and beginningg

Well Cameron House ended about...a week ago and I miss it terribly. I can't help but want to show off to people that HEY. I GO TO CAMERON HOUSE. I know people around me are getting a little annoyed and agitated but I love it so much I can't help but do it. I spent HECKA money over Cameron House too. Probably over $100 :P All worth it.
Anyways Cameron House isn't ALL over. There's still Club :] and we're gonna have reunions.

Haha. Not to mention...SUMMER SERVICE. That was the craziest thing ever. We played Truth or Dare to the EXTREME, the food was amazing, AND the DANCING. The dancing wasn't all that fun...it was even worse than a Wash Dance. :P But it was pretty fun :]

Alright. Back to SCHOOL. I got my schedule and I've got to say...I don't like it. But I want to give it a try. I posted my schedule up on my Facebook status and a Junior commented on my status and said she was in my Chem and Adv. Algebra class. Oh Man. That means I have to share classes with upperclassmen... I am really nervous and intimated by upperclassmen, since I have...a little low self esteem. I'm going to try to switch my 1st with my 2nd and see if that's possible if not, I'm going to suck it up.

Tomorrow... or should I say today xD I'm hanging out w/ Wendy. I'll post more and in detail when I get back haha. at........7-8 PM. TTYL

angie!! <3

So my cousin from Okinawa, Japan slept over at my place yesterday x] It was really fun because we ordered pizza, cheesecake, garlic bread, AND watched CSI ON DEMAND. YAH BABY.

I love my aunt too, she's so caring and knows what it's like to be a teenager. my gosh.

Anyways, we woke up at different times but it was still cool. We went to CT, JT, and CT again XDD.

Random blurb again, since I suck at blogging xD

Event List (so far, or to come)

1) TRANSFORMERS II
2) OG tomorrow and Tuesday.
3) Practice on Thursday
4) Triathalon on Sat.

almost thereee

Aha! I finally have time to chill on the comp x.x My kids are so cuteee but they misbehave so much. Anyways, tomorrow is Open House and I'm a little scared. I hope none of the parents ask about their kids because I honestly don't know what to answer. Not to mention I have Official Greetings to do in the morning.

Overnight next Tuesday and Wednesday and I'm excited too :]

But I really want to hangout this Friday because I'm off that day! Anyone up for Transformers before 12?

I saw Chu today in CT ;] I screamed "Chu!" but I bet you her ears were plugged.

Just a random blurb. Peace out yo.

cameron house and party.

Wow. Cameron House. This week has been a blur. This week is training week, and I have to admit, it's not that bad. I actually quite like it here. However on the first day of official training I felt like shit. Here's a basis of how it's like.

First I was placed in a group called "Solid Ground" which is for leaders (volunteers) who are leading middle schoolers. Me and Wendy were placed in this group and I was really excited, until I found out there are departments within Solid Ground. So I was placed in the 6th grade dept. while Wendy was put into the 8th grade dept. :[ I know I need to grow up and not depend on everything to be placed my way but I felt really bad. The people within my dept are pretty cool, but I felt really intimidated by certain people. I felt like quitting because I hated it. But I stayed because I knew Wendy wouldn't want me to leave. So I stayed. So far I don't regret it because everyone is getting closer and knowing each other better, but I wonder how it'll be later on.

So I went to Jenny Lee's b-day party after training finally ended. It was really fun catching up with people I haven't talked to in such a long time :]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNE AND JENNY <3

SUMMER...

...is getting boring already -.- goshers. If I were to spend my summer like these past two days, I think I'd kill myself. Good thing I actually have something to do. haha. So a recap of the past few days include...

CSI marathons
computer
cleaning
coughing
reading
eating
sleeping

.....i'm not liking this summer yet.

worst day of this year

Ugggh. I was really looking forward today. I had everything planned out and it all got wiped out.

I woke up feeling tired at 7 o' clock. I was going to take a shower and wash my hair before going to Wendy's house. But the longer I stayed on the computer the weaker I felt. Eventually, I took a nap.

When I woke up I was so weak I could barely get up and my vision blacked out and came back. I fell recently in the backyard and I think I twisted or at least hurt my wrist in someway, but my right wrist hurt so much I couldn't even lift up my covers.

I had to cancel everything planned. and I could barely do anything except lie in bed. I haven't felt so helpless since middle school. When I get sick I mumble, twitch a lot, and cry. It was not a pretty sight. My mom and dad were freaking out because they didn't know what the heck was going on. and I refused to talk or eat in fear of throwing up. I just drank water the whole day.

It's hard to describe how I felt. Right now I feel much better, my head still hurts, but I'm good enough to get on the computer. Just to show how plans never turn out right x.x

and thanks Kelly for your gift :] it really cheered me up and surprised me <33

so busy.

GAH. Summer is finally here, but why do I feel more frustrated than I do at school I'm probably just...nervous about something -.-

Anyways, Japanese finals wasn't hard, but when I turned the page I just frowned. I didn't want to do it, I think I even groaned out loud. I wanted to cut gym so badly. BUT I STAYED FOR YOU PEOPLE. 2 of whom were late. ahem.

Drill finals.........me and carmen like failed, haha but we passed, surprisingly. I couldn't stop laughing because honestly I'd rather laugh it off than to carry it in like last time.

me and jenny swear. NO MORE VIETNAMESE FOOD. >:[ We've eaten Pho for like...3 days straight practically. -.- I'm broke.

My b-day is coming up and as usual, I'm not anticipating it. My mom asked me if I wanted cake this morning and I said no. She frowned a little, but she should know that it's been 4-5 years since I've actually wanted a cake for my b-day. I just hope I don't end up crying like every previous year.

I just read the summary for Drag Me To Hell. It sounds just like the Unborn. Plus! There's no $6 movies! I'm broke yo! Besides, I can't cut the whole day on Monday, I have to go back 6th period to get my finals and correct and wrong answers. After that DC.

I'm not ignorant. I see your reactions to things I do. and I wonder too. How did we get so far apart? Is it the classes? The clubs? The friends? Or are we just like that? I feel somewhat like a stranger to you now, aren't I? But I wish you happiness from the bottom of my heart, after all this shi* you've been through, you deserve it.

and it's definitely a breath reliever to see you two hit it off. and I'm glad. I guess that's what matters right?

Taking down day by day and step by step. We'll never know what's around the corner. Let mother fate decide our path. With our guidance, good hearts will reach good distances. There will be mountains, trees, and oceans. But we will keep on moving step by step and day by day.

I restrained myself today :] No swearing x.x

nice day.

Wow, today was the most mind blowing day I've ever had. I love you Wendy <3

I'm not thinking straight right now >:[ too much hot sauce.

(green bottle = MAH MILK!)

Anyways, I've learned more about a certain someone today. I hope he/she keep our promise, if not, imma blow up!! :P

gaaah. finals. bio. fail. math + english tomorrow. fail more. screwed.whocares.

I can't believe it.

I hate how our fights always turn out fine in the end.... I always find someway to forgive you. I guess that's what it means when they say sisters can never stay mad at each other forever. But you should know that your words do hurt. But my wall is getting stronger with every word you say. Every word strengthens my walls, but these walls aren't my protection anymore. They're starting to come back and affecting me as a person.

I'm realizing that I'm changing. I'm not who I used to be. As a matter of fact, I've never known who I truly am and is at lost for what words to pick. However this "me" people see me as is starting to mold my character. I'm lost. What am I? and who am I? Things are getting to the edge of the cliff. Do I jump? Will someone save me in the end? Or will I be covered with a bed of rocks and left to live in my shell?

Why do I gossip so much? SHIT.

It's been a stressful month.

GOAL 1 - Stop swearing.

whatever.

I don't care anymore. Since I'm so pissed to the point where whatever goes goes. I hate living up to your expectations. You think I'm pissed about what Angela told you? No. You don't even know the other half of the story. Don't just assume things without asking because I have an agenda. I plan everything I do. Everyone thinks they know me when they don't ha. I guess I'm so used to keeping me to myself, I even lied to my own blog.

I'm not like her. Don't compare me with her from the outside. Everyone is different and you'll never know what's truly inside. The more you want to get to know me, the more I'll shut myself in my castle of lies. If you know that I'm not ok, don't ask if I am, because the answer is always yes. So go ahead and yell profanities at me and TRY to break down my confidence. It just shows how insecure you are even though you deny it.

Just dance

haha Just Dance is stuck in my head x.x

Anyways, today was the typical day. Wendy wants to film a movie. But that's one of my goals for this year too, to do a film or video of some kind.

Lemme ask you guys a question ;]

Would you buy plain rice rolls with soysauce, a cookie, a fried chicken drumstick, and a drink with a fork and napkin for $5?



I have practice all week cept Tues. and Fri....Wow...my grades are slipping from this..

"Just dance." ~LGG

~Anna Bananna

mother's day

Mother's Day is supposed to be like super fun right? Well, I just found out my mom is going to eat dinner with her friends tonight. Wow. I was going to make her dinner but forget it.

I visited my grandmother today in the morning. She got so much more skinnier >.< BUT i found out that her favorite dim sum is ha gao :] I'm gonna try to make it for her next time ;]



Anyways, after that my dad drove me to Serramonte. YAY. BUT i didn't even get to shop, cause Jenny was all, "Let's go I'm bored." So ok, that's gone :/

I'm back home now, nothing to do. It's procrastination night so don't expect to see me anywhere online.

OH MA GAWD. Stupid people who can't get in sync with the program frustrate me. DO IT YOURSELF. >:[

~ Anna Bananna

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Seriously I am. I admit, I'm stubborn. I'm simple and not complicated to know what is that is bothering you all the time. I really don't know you enough, nor can understand you enough.

I know you're not blind about it and you can see. But I'm oblivious to it. Once again, I'm too stubborn to understand. I guess I'm a cold selfish bitch, and NO. I'm not blaming this on you.

I guess I was born high up on this pedestal where I believed everything revolved around me but I would never dare admit it. I didn't and don't want to be the one in the movies that everyone hated. Truth be told, I'm scared to admit it. But I'm spoiled and conceited.

I know I'm not physically spoiled but emotionally. I know my limits when talking to my parents to avoid being hurt. Out of the 365 days per year there is not one day where I truly feel happy.

I guess being through so much crap can really open up your personality and provide you with a colorful volcabulary.

Here's another thing too, I get jealous. I'm not all that sweet, I have a darker side to me I don't dare show. That's probably want happened yesterday and I'm sorry about what I said.

I never think about the other side of the picture, I can't think before I act, and I definitely cannot put myself in someone elses' shoes. I'm sorry I hurt you so much when you're already down. I understand, but in ways I don't.

I always thought I was down in the dumps with me not having all these necessities and whatnot. But I guess clothes and external valuables can't cover up and make up for what and how you feel inside.

I know I'm just blabbering on at this point. and you're probably not getting half of what I'm saying. But there's no words to describe how I'm feeling right now. It's weird.

But the main point is, I KNOW it's not the first time I've done this to you. and you'd think I'd learn by now. The problem is I CAN'T LEARN.

Maybe next time, please just TELL ME what I'm doing wrong. Tell me how you feel about what I did. Then I can learn, then I can at least try to compensate for my doings. Just like I can't learn Bio w/o a textbook I can't learn exactly what I'm doing without help.

If you can tell me straight up, we can figure something out. But please, if you keep it bottled in, I'll never know. I might go on in life doing this to others. I might get hurt, but it's worth it in the long run. That's what friends are for? I wouldn't know. I don't even know the definition for it anymore, because it's much more than that at this point. I'm lost, getting way too high on my pedestal built by my behaviors. Help me change.

"The resonance of sadness
echos in the night.
I want to believe, someday
Someone will help me." ~MM

~Anna Bananna

Tired of being the one.

I'm tired of being the one you pick up when need needed and throw out when you're done.

I'm tired of not being able to say no.

I'm tired of staring at it and think....that's what how it used to be.

I'm tired of being left in the dark and find out 2 days later.

I'm tired of not knowing what's up and around.

I'm tired of feeling regret, compensating, only to find that I wasn't even needed to be there in the beginning.

I'm tired of seeing you change and be like them. There used be this personality, but it's not there anymore. You've become completely blended into and not how I used to know you.

One side of me thinks, great you're changing and coming out out of your hole, but another side of me wants you to stay the way you were.

Whatever. Things Change. But If Only Time Stayed Too.

Eh, today was really tiring, I felt like throwing up :[ I'm not even sick, I think it's a side effect of having this "emotion".

Anyways we did our kantan skit today. We memorized all our lines and I hope we got a good grade >.<

We put up posters afterschool. Man, was it tiring. We had to run up and down the hallways because our "stations" were so far away from each other. Jason was NOT focusing....ARGH to him. Carmen feel asleep on the bus though XDD



It's mother's day this sunday. Surprisingly my mom doesn't want me to get her anything but she wants me to visit my grandmother. WTF. I haven't talked to her in so long. But ever since she's been hospitalized my opinions for her have changed. I feel like crying when I see her. She's finally awaken from her old days. She's starting realize that we're part of the family too. I'm sure she too realizes that time is ending for her soon.

"I don't want, don't care and isn't going to admit my stubbornness
I'm scared of starting to cry uncontrollably
Love harmed both our freedom" ~ Angela Z.

~Anna Bananna

what an interesting day...

Aha. Today was hilarious <33

Ok, we had practice today....it was HELL. By the end of practice I was so tired, that I was willing to run a friggin mile.

Iris, Eva, and Jason are so sweet ;] They waited for me today haha 3 hours I believe!! I hope you guys weren't too bored :]

Jenny, Stephen, Iris, and me then went to Chinatown and got FISHABALLERS <3333 Of course that Yellow Store sold out so we went to Lolocup. Stephen ditched us to get his ha gow (shrimp dumblings ;]) and jook (pongee) WHO THE FRIG EATS PORRIGE ON THE STREETS??!!

Anyways we took the car back, Jenny, being the oldest one sat on the floor :] While the latter sat on the top. I'm pretty sure Iris was squished >.< SORRY!

Anyways I went to read some blogs that I follow and I'm sitting here thinking.

I am really spoiled with my life. Everyone around me has at least one problem rotating around them, while I'm here, every single day of my life, smiling at least once truly. I believe I'm taking advantage of all the people around me by taking their love and happiness without being able to relate with them at all.

I have a happy family, no pressure from family or friends, no expectations, no love problems (yet), no drama and I'm just so indifferent and unaware of the things rotating around me.

Would you call this being lucky or am I really that cold on the inside. I'm not deep at all.

~Anna Bananna

That fuckin hurt -.-

It's not what you think. XD (whatever it may be) MY EPILATOR CAME TODAY :] (thanks harmony <3)

Eeh, today was the average day. I had a lot of fun after school though XD UGHH. While I was walking to the bus stop with Harmony, Nancy, Stephen, and Iris....this mexican guy walks past us and says "You wanna suck my dick?" and I was just like "W.T.F? :[" BLAH. THAT was NOT the fun part. It was on the bus ride....haha.

Anyways. I have a shitload of crap for Caliz due tomorrow....I'm friggin screwed.

Wish me luck.

"Today too, I saw you smiling at her" - b.u.d

~ Anna Bananna

headacheee

Yesterday killed me. My goshers. i was so tired by the time I came home with an upset stomach that was sooooo worth it x]

But when I went home I just plopped and died on my bed -.- XD and I've been doing my homework till now haha.

Anyways yesterday was so much fun!!

First I had a shift at Jamba Juice haha I got there just in time x.x Stupid bus. The shift was SO boring and nobody was in line! I know, exaggeration but whatever! I guess if you want to shop without lines go in the morning haha. Let's just say it was fun standing there coming up with a rap for Jamba Juice x]

" Jamba Mamba donate to Wash-ah
Come to Westfield Mall this weekend
All you gotta say is Wash -ah
and it won't even cost ya!
-cept the drink-"

LAMEE -cough-



The Cameron House Carnival was fun :] I liked their nachos ;] Well techinically we didn't really GO to the carnival....but we went to the play!

The play was hilarious!! I think it was called "Aliminasian" or something like that. After the play we went to get fishballs -shot- They were soo good but the hot sauce gave me a sore throat -.- basically we went on a food eating spree in Chinatown.

1) Fishballs
2) Nachos
3) More fishballs and FAKE shark fin soup
4) Frozen yogurt

That gave me a tummy ache, but it was REALLY good. We went to the library too... Wendy convinced me to borrow the first season of Gossip Girl and watch it L.O.L She made me borrow 40 year Old Virgin too. We're gonna watch it at my place next weekend w/ Iris :]

I have a headache right now x.x Stupid Milktea :[

and GAHH. Caliz is crazy!! I have so much piled work from her, it's like SIX pages worth of stuff x.x Wish me luck :[

"Happy happy Sunday! Happy Sunday!" ~K K

~ Anna Bananna

I'M AWAKE

GAHH. I missed out on so many things last night -.- I blame the stupid couch. That couch has this magic that makes you sleepy within an hour, or maybe it was just the comforting TV....idk. Anyways, since I couldn't blog last night, I'll do it now, at 6:39 AM! I actually woke up myslef today haha.

Yesterday was AWESOME! I woke up by myself at 8:30 AM. OH YEAH. So me and Iris were riding the bus to downtown cause we were going to go shopping. BLAH. OMG. Stupid beaners (no racism applied ;]) there was a Latino male standing WAAY too close to comfort on the bus. >.< I could feel his happy spot on my butt and his stomach into my back UGHH. Scarred for life. I was late to 4th period...but eh, the teacher didn't even care.

Quickly's electricity went out. No surprise there... I mean THREE loud booming televisions, those machines, and just unnecessary lighting, but I mean whatever, at least you got drinks with no caps and tax included XD



I went home, only to get a call asking me where I was and that there WAS a DC meeting that involved cleaning the instrument room. Oh well. I went home, I'm there, no way in heck am I going back. BUT UGHH. I didn't get my report card :[ I'm pretty sure it's not a 4.0 cause of Pakar and I have As in everything cept Health (I DID NOT PLAGIARIZE T_T) so eh. I might blog again when I get home...depends what happens...OH CRAP. I forgot to upload the DC syllabus for Stephen and others.......oops. MY BAD.

UGHH. It's raining now. B.S.

~ Anna Bananna

Okay so….

Yo… so I just found out my old blog died. haha. oh the joy. I thought it was still the old password and everything but, guess not.

Anyways. I’m not an emotional person. I’m a cold hearted bitch :] So don’t expect much out of me.

So today was a bore. HOWEVER, my ever hated homeroom was quite interesting. I’m not going to go into details about it BUT, let’s just say my face was etched with a big smile

OH OH OH. We went to Iris’s orthodontist place today. BOY was it a change from the office I go to. XD It was so….asian. Carmen and I sat in the waiting room reading baby books.

I’m looking at the mirror right now and I’M BREAKING OUT!!! GARGH. 3 pimples and counting :

Stupid daydreams, about things that will never happen. But it’s a dream i wish could come true. If it did, I’d be the happiest I will every be. Now, if only I hold the courage to pursue it.

That’s about it.

“I’m brought back from my dreams and into reality…” - MM

P.S. Don't you just love my layout :]

~Anna Bananna